Nah, I ain’t mad

I need to be very explicit here.

I am not hurt or mad that you elected a Republican or a Conservative. (Although he’s really neither.)

This is not me being “butthurt” or “liberal” over the loss of an election or because my candidate lost. I didn’t feel this way when W won both times. Or the first Bush. Or any other time my candidate didn’t win.

I am hurt and mad that you elected someone who has attacked me and mine with every word and deed throughout his campaign and promises. You consciously, and with malice put a man in power who will consciously and with malice seek to hurt me and those like me who are “other”. He has in the past, he’s going to trial for doing so next month…and some y’all forget — I lived in NY with both Trump and under Senator Clinton. I actually know of where I speak (for those who actually had the gall to call me “ignorant”.)

There’s nothing you can say that will assuage that pain and betrayal. Nothing. No “but I voted for tougher immigration” (she had immigration reform in her platform too). No “she was gonna take my guns” (bullshit). No “but Obamacare costs me so much!” (wait til you see what, if anything, replaces it.)

NOTHING you can say will erase the fact that you consciously and with malice specifically said, “I don’t care about anyone else but myself” and voted to harm others.

It’s two days later and I’m still appalled and hurting and I know, you don’t care. You didn’t care when you cast your vote to hurt me and others and you don’t care now. I’m just writing this out because it’s cathartic. I’m making it public because I know it’s how other people feel too. I made my suicide attempt notes public too — to help others going through the same thing.

See, that’s the thing about us liberals. We seek to help others. Often at the cost of ourselves. Other conservatives around the world also seem to be like that, if you look at their parties in other countries. It’s the American conservatives that can’t look past their own noses.

And that makes me sad too. But unlike two years ago — there will be no suicide attempts (those are happening by the way, in case you haven’t pulled your head out of your celebratory asses — lots of LGBTQ suicides because they’re TERRIFIED). Because I’m not just sad — I’m furious.

And my fury is righteous and that makes me fight. I’ll still be the peace-loving hippie chick with flowers in her (still growing) hair, but believe me, I will fight for the rights of my LGBTQ brothers and sisters; my Muslim kin, my black, brown, Asian, Native American, Jewish, Pagan and kin of all “others”. This body may be broken but my spirit is strong and I’m still the Energizer Bunny of energy raisers.

And I plan on raising hell.

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