http://theslot.jezebel.com/this-is-not-normal-1791911524

This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal.

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This is not normal.

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This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal.

This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal.

This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal. This is not normal.

You’re absolutely correct. None of this is normal.

 

http://theslot.jezebel.com/this-is-not-normal-1791911524

 

He’s Gonna Blow Us All Up

Inspired by this blog post: https://infinite-coincidence.com/2017/01/22/donald-trump-is-going-to-snap-very-soon-and-here-is-how-i-know/

 

I’ve said before — and I know it’s not the most popular thought or opinion but … it’s entirely possible that the best thing for THE PLANET is for the human race to extinguish itself. We’ve had millions of years to get it right, and we keep screwing up. Look at what’s happening here. We thought we’d moved past so much of this.

The planet, Earth, will survive even a nuclear disaster. The most intense periods of growth come after devastating fires. It’ll take years, more time than any of us can outlive in the best bunkers. And another species may be the ones that become the dominant species on Earth. Maybe cetaceans (dolphins and whales). They have the largest mammalian brains and DO NOT WAR with other species or even within their own species. They have language, and culture within pods. Or the cockroaches are waiting, biding their time….

The EARTH will survive us.

And if that scenario is too doom-and-gloom — my ideal society is the one shown in Star Trek, where humanity is risen above petty wars over religion and race and doesn’t even use money anymore. No, we reach for the stars and explore the universe. But remember what it took to get there? A NUCLEAR CATACLYSMIC WAR. The survivors built a warp-capable ship from the remnants of a nuclear missile and got the attention of Vulcan’s passing by the rock full of barely-literate monkeys. (I know it’s science fiction but we have iPads now. Star Trek had ’em first. Roddenberry was truly before his time and that society is utter utopia, truly, for people that think science AND art AND religion AND humanities can all coexist without killing each other.)

Doesn’t mean I’m going to sit back and let it happen but the simple truth of the matter is: we’ve been given our chance, over and over and over for millennia and the goddamned neanderdouches keep dragging us back into the caves.

To “Beckywiththepinkhat” from another Becky with a pink hat

There are many viral posts making the rounds from WOC (women of color) or indigenous women that were at the Women’s March on Washington or other cities this past weekend. These posts are admonishments to the white women that have just now decided to rise up and fight for rights that WOC (I am going to use WOC in this post to include all races EXCEPT white for reasons of expediency) have been fighting for generations. Two of these posts I will link here as examples:

https://twitter.com/sydnerain/status/823378710833270786

 

As a white woman, albeit a Latina (Brasilian) of Jewish descent, it’s hard to read those words. My first reaction is, “Hey! I didn’t do that to you! I am intersectional with my feminism. I am a first generation American. MY ancestors didn’t oppress anyone – they were the ones oppressed as German/Russian Jews!” etc. And yes…I have been activist in some form or another for most of my life but not quite as activist as I SHOULD have been especially in light of what has been happening in this country. I was focused on other things, what I deemed important to me at the time (in my case, pit bull advocacy and animal welfare. Still important but the human animal is deserving of compassion too — and…I almost went off on a tangent. Nope. Stay focused Jax.)

Lakeshia and Hokte, and others saying the same — I want you to know that I AM LISTENING. WE ARE LISTENING.

Some of us white women are tardy to the party … but we are here now. Educate us.

I know you are frustrated with us; that it took us SO LONG to get here. But please, welcome us now that we’re here. Many of us are trying, please realize that. We’re going to flounder and flub and make stupid mistakes because for many,  it’s our first time as activists.  Educate us. Treat us like the newbies we are — be gentle. We are not used to being trod upon. I know…special little snowflakes are we, we white women of privilege. But that’s the thing here — so many of us (not me specifically) ARE coming from a place of privilege and have JUST NOW realized that it’s all being threatened and we are TERRIFIED and don’t know what to do. We don’t know how to act. I’m willing to bet that many of the women that marched on Washington had never marched before, had never traveled out of their own state or interacted with people outside their own demographic. It may not seem like a lot to you —  WOC who are activists and experienced in fighting for their rights but for some of the women I traveled with from Alabama — it was a GIANT leap of courage to leave their tiny  towns and interact with folks so far from their usual perspective. Acknowledge that.

I know you’ve been angry and oppressed and repressed for most of your lives and look upon so many suburban housewives with their silly pink hats with disdain and think, “what took you so damned long?” I don’t blame you for wanting to call us out. But at the same time, we ARE here NOW. So after admonishing us for being clueless or rude or just plain ignorant — maybe take a moment to also thank us for making the attempt to cross a cultural bridge that has stood for so long and that for many has been more of a wall than a bridge. Many “Beckys” DON’T understand. But they will now. Or maybe it’ll take another week or a month or a year but the fact that so many “Beckys” showed up is a step in the right direction. Acknowledge that.

If you, and we, want to work together then your admonishments need to be followed up with education on HOW we can be better as women. Just women. Not WOC or indigenous or white women or Jewish women or Muslim women or Christian women or how about we include the men of all kinds that joined us in the marches.

We were late. We were ignorant and rude and faltered and didn’t act correctly. But we’re here now and WE ARE LISTENING. We are trying. Help us help ourselves, together.

This is me: My name is Jackie (not Becky). I am a white latina jewish pagan buddhist LGBTQ disabled woman. And I wore a pink pussyhat. And I was there in DC. And I’m pretty sure I wasn’t rude to anyone and if I was: I’m sorry. But it had nothing to do with your skin color or culture, it had to do with the pain I was in and my body breaking down. At that point, you could have been Rutger Hauer *swoon* and I’d have barked at you to get out of my way.

 

 

PSYCH!

JUST when you thought 2017 was going to try and make up for the shitstain that 2016 was….the last coupla days happened. Some teenagers in Chicago tortured a disabled person chanting ethnic slurs and “Fuck Trump” (I’m leaving their color out of it – it doesn’t matter – it’s a hate crime no matter what color THEIR skin is). A mass shooting in a Florida airport today. It’s supposed to snow/sleet/ice/RAGNAROK in Alabama so the whole state is in a frenzy, the schools and banks and everything closed and I walked outside to….nothing. 

The PEOTUS (which is so close to piteous it really should be spelled that way) is Twitterbating  about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ratings on TV rather than taking intelligence briefings. The GOP congress has made its first attempt to repeal the ACA without a replacement. Oh, and defunding Planned Parenthood is next. They only scrapped their plan to gut the independent ethics committee after a bajillion constituents made a lot of noise about not — not the Twit-in-charge as he’d like you to believe. And the US is still thisclose to being annexed by Russia.

Yeah. Ain’t it a great day to be alive. Actually, yes it is. You’re here. You’re breathing. You’re feeling the feelings you’re feeling. You mad? You should be. You sad? You should be. You think the whole world’s gone crazy? You’re right. This is all a fucking dungheap of insane douchebaggery, I can’t even come up with any more words to try and explain it anymore. It’s like the Universe took a sharp left turn at Albuquerque and went to some alternate dimension filled with negative images of  decent people where our leaders should be.

So what do we that are still sane, rational (we think), compassionate, caring and hopeful (we hope) do?

Hell if I know. I’m asking the questions here, don’t look to me for answers. All I know is that I’m going to continue breathing, working through my feelings and trying to turn those destructive forces into productive actions. I’m angry at what is happening — but whining about it isn’t going to do anything. Writing to my congresscritters won’t either since they’re all GOP and eating the cilia in Trump’s large intestine right now. (I’ve tried. The response was regurgitated Trumpshit. That’s how I know they live in his bowels.) So I’ll have to find other ways to make my voice heard or at least be thorn in the side of the “Make American Terrible” crowd.

You Kept Me Here For This?

Two years ago, I attempted suicide. Failed, spectacularly (unless this is all a dream upon my death bed, which would explain A LOT and if so, I’m truly sorry to all that are experiencing the horrors of my subconscious) and the entire saga of my hospitalization and subsequent recovery is available publicly on my Facebook starting here: https://www.facebook.com/notes/jackie-beltaine/anatomy-of-a-nervous-breakdown/10153338627833098 because I believe that mental illness is not something to hide and if my story helps one person, then it’s worth any potential embarassment.

Part of why I did it is because I didn’t want to live the way I’m living now: in poverty, struggling to survive on SS disability; with a chronic pain condition that keeps me from enjoying what little I *can* do and now with our current political climate it seems as if things are only going to get worse for people like me.

I posted this earlier to my Facebook, along with the link to the New York Times article referencing Trump’s EPA pick.

I’ve kind of gotten to the “Acceptance” stage of grief, if grieving is what I am doing. I guess I am. I’m grieving the end of life as I’ve known it, the end of my country, potentially the end of the world since Trumpelthinskin has gone against all diplomatic advice and practices in his interactions with heads of state of other countries. It’s just…baffling. I’m no longer surprised, just resigned that each new day will bring some new ridiculous tweet or appointment.

And I have to wonder…why did the Universe spit me back out when I tried to end things on my terms? For this? Had I not suffered enough? Did I have to TRULY suffer first?

I tell you what — should it come to an actual war, I shall sit outside and watch the bombs fall. I’m too old, tired and in pain to bother with my old “I’ll never give up, fight to survive” bullshit. I’ll hug my dogs close, shut my eyes and let the blast take us.

SMH. And here I keep fighting off the cockroaches. I should let them have my house. They’re gonna end up inheriting the entire world anyway.

I’m So Tired

I was chatting with a friend, and she asked how I was. “Meh”, was my reply. “What’s ‘meh’?”

Meh. Meh is – I’m tired. So tired of fighting for peace (it’s not an oxymoron), and freedom, and the same rights that others have, and now I’ll have to fight just to survive. I’m tired. For over 20 years, I was on the front lines of bringing American paganism to the public eye. Taking it “out of the broom closet” and helping to educate the general public; showing that we’re not scary, evil, devil-worshipping freaks; that we’re just your neighbors with a different religious view. Some of that time was spent dispelling the views that all Witches are Wicca, that Wicca stands for all Pagans, and trying to live my life as a mother and wife and just plain human being while still working to stay safe from the very people I was trying to educate because crazies exist and I had a young child to protect.

Meh. Meh is – I’m terrified. The incoming administration is specifically tailoring itself to dismantle everything our country once stood for. Everything we’ve worked for, everything we thought we’d outgrown or moved past – tossed out like a quick Tweet from the fat fingers of the Orange One himself at 3 am. I don’t need to go into everything Trump is doing – many others have covered it better than I – but it’s utterly horrifying to wake up each day and see another way in which the United States of America is being dismantled before he’s even taken office. And what’s worse is that even should the Electoral College prove faithless and decide to elect Hillary Clinton: the damage is done. Trump’s candidacy has riled up a base of support so vile, loud and obviously willing to harm their fellow citizenry that a civil war is sure to break out. Pence? A Pence Presidency is sure to be as bad if not worse, as he actually BELIEVES everything he says. Trump is ignorant and insane but Pence isn’t. Pence is, to borrow a line from “Serenity”: “Because he’s a believer. He’s intelligent, methodical and devout in his belief that {…} is the right thing to do.”

Either way, our entire way of life is over. The new “normal” is waking up and seeing what disgusting thing ThePutz has tried to put over on the American people. Watching as fascism creeps into our democracy and some of the country cheer, some cry and yell and declare “never again” and some don’t seem to care either way. Hate crimes have risen since the election, and it’s not going to get better. It’s going to get worse. I’d like to say that it’s all going to be OK — but it’s not. No matter what happens, it’s not going to be OK, not for a long long time. Scholars will analyze this election and it’s ramifications for years to come; it’s going to rank up there with the rise to power of all those other awful people we learned about in school. And we’re going to be the ones LIVING with the fallout.

Meh. Meh is that fallout. Meh is the memory of a dream I had way back when I was 15 or so. A vision I thought was just due to all the nuclear bomb drills we had to do because it was the 1980’s and we were still in the the throes of the Cold War with the then-USSR and there was a very real fear of an actual nuclear war and we had to know how to survive it and live after the radiation burned out. We had movies and bomb shelters and I thought this dream was just my subconscious working out the fear of all that. But now I wonder if it’s another of those prophetic dreams of mine that come true (as far too many have. I hate that. I hate more that I have no knowledge of WHEN). But at this point – I’m too old, broken and tired to do anything more than stand outside and watch as the rockets come overhead if that’s what is to come.

Every single moment of every day is a chance to say: THIS IS NOT OK. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. Jailing people or revoking citizenship for burning the US Flag is a violation of the First Amendment of the US Constitution. Jailing women for a miscarriage is a violation of human rights. A Tweet storm by the President Elect decrying his win was rigged is NOT SANE. Wanting to hire the General that was fired for selling state secrets as Secretary of State is NOT NORMAL.

This is not OK. Not one bit.

It’s all so very “Meh”.

 

 

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3 drink

My theory on the Stein recount rigamarole. (I’m turning into a regular conspiracy theorist. I should start writing for the “alt-right” sites LOL)

(This was originally a comment on someone’s Facebook post. So it’s not as fleshed out as an actual blog post would be, but I’m not adding to it. It’s explaining what “CYA” means, and why I feel that Stein is doing it and thereby covering hers, and possibly Hillary’s. Trump’s ass is bulletproof at the moment. For now. Such is the way with politicians. Cover you own ass as the expense of those you purport to serve.)

The Stein campaign stands to gain nothing from this except perhaps some ground back from those voters they lost with her anti-vax stance and pro-Trump propaganda. I mean, the Green party went completely whacko there at the end. So by saying that the recount isn’t “for Hillary” or “against Trump” but “to make sure our election process is fair” or whatever is the claim — that’s how Stein’s ass is covered.

She’s not shilling for Hillary. She’s doing the country a service in general to verify the system works as it should and if it doesn’t, get it fixed.

Hillary’s ass is covered, because it’s not coming from her campaign, she’s not calling for recount and looking like a sore loser even though she has more popular votes than ANY CANDIDATE IN HISTORY.

Hell, even Trump’s foul orange ass is covered because you can bet he’s shitting in his didies that should this investigation turn up tampering, the calls didn’t come from his campaign. He already covered himself by SAYING BEFOREHAND that elections were rigged. He already said it, he told us, so he’s covered.

Everyone’s ass is covered, except the American people’s. We’re the only ones hanging out in the breeze, waiting to be shot straight through the keister.